Sports Bra Drama
I believe in progress and I am one of those people dazzled by cool new gadgets. My personal favorites are kitchen toys. I’m certain I was the first on my block to own a mini handy chopper with the special pulse button for finer dice.
However the invention I seek is not for the kitchen. It’s for the locker room.
I need a device that will help me remove my sports bra after an aerobic workout. You know the one I’m talking about. The stretchy scrap of fabric, which becomes hermetically sealed to your flesh even after a low impact workout.
The other day my husband caught me flailing around knocking over various things on our faux marble bathroom counter in a hopeless attempt to peel the sodden Lycra from the upper part of my body. All I managed to do was somehow get my elbows got trapped inside at unnatural angles. When my husband stopped laughing long enough…he helped me out of it.
But he’s not always available to laugh at me before graciously sticking a knee in my ribcage to add leverage to pull the stubborn bleeping thing off!! Please someone tell me the secret! How does one extract one’s self from a sweat-laced sports bra without the help of another. I know I’m not the only one! Please tell me I’m not the only one!
We need some sort of new invention. Perhaps a shoehorn like device for this effort. Perhaps it could be mounted on the wall or better yet the back of the bathroom door.
OR even better yet…we need to invent a robot for this!! Instead of a robot to vacuum the house--boring snore--how about inventing one to extract a girl from her stubborn sports bra after exercising.
I write about this tonight, because tomorrow is Wednesday and it’s an aerobics day…and I will face the dreaded sweaty awkward struggle alone. So if anyone knows if such a robot has been invented, please let me know.
Oh, and can my robot look like Vin Diesel?