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Friday, March 02, 2007

My Time is Running Out

Seriously, I feel like the time I spend with my kids is quickly running out.

And it is.

Last night, I took special notice when my husband and our two children found a rare moment to sit in our six foot square of living space. (This is a regularly occurring phenomenon where by the four of us suddenly realize we have all congregated into the same small space. This happens regardless of the size of our house, which is considerably more than 6 feet square currently.) We were chatting and laughing and pretty much just hanging out together discussing school and then life in general. It was wonderful. :)

These times are very rare because the kids are getting older. (Notice I refrain from mentioning that I too am getting older...everyone knows that. I don't have to say it out loud.)

Everyday, I hear a ticking clock in my head getting louder and louder. It's winding down to an inevitable end.

Five years from now my kids will be in college. Ten years from now they'll probably be living on their own someplace away from me. (I keep telling them they don't have to leave until they're age 35, but I sense a growing trend in them. The growing streak of independence they exhibit makes me think the clock they hear ticking is set to when they can leave home and be on their own.) Big sigh.

Ten years ago they technically weren't even in grade school yet. (I say kindergarten doesn't count)
Five years ago they were smack in the center of grade school, cub scouts, and I didn't hear the tick tock of the clock banging in my head as loudly as I do today.

I remember a distinct moment in time several years ago when life was rushing by and I stopped to take note.
My husband and I were driving somewhere in the car and I glanced at the kids in the back seat suddenly struck by an interesting thought.
"Ten years ago," I told my husband, "we didn't even know each other. Ten years from now we'll have a child that drives."
I still remember the look of puzzlement my husband shot back at me before the epiphany of realization sunk in moments later. I don't remember what he said, I just remember the look on his face and knew he heard the ticking of the clock as well.

My mom smiles whenever I mention this speeding time phenomenon to her. (Yes, I can see her smile even over the phone.)
Her typical response is, "So how do you think 'I' feel?"
I get it. Time zips by and we should all take the time to sit in our 6 foot square to enjoy each other's company while we're all together.

Hopefully, twenty years from now on the very rare occasions when the four of us get together we'll be able to fit all the additional spouses and grandchildren into our 6 foot square.
Or perhaps we'll expand the space slightly so we don't have to sit on each other. :)



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